Well, let’s just all agree that it is terribly hard and exhausting to be in a relationship with a narcissist.
Yes, narcissists are mean and vicious people and they can be so skilled in their manipulations but the worst part is that they don’t even realize (or give a damn) that they are so bad. Someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder lives in a world where only they are perfect and everyone else simply exists to serve at their disposal.
However, there are ways how you can deal with these diabolical people and stop them from using you.
Here are 5 techniques that narcissists use to fool others and take advantage of them:
1.The Idealization-Devaluation- Discard Phase
Narcissists are very clever persons. They certainly have a way with people and their method of attracting others includes three steps: the first step is idealization during which they make you feel like you’re the most amazing person they have ever met. They will place you on a pedestal and make you feel fantastic about yourself. The second phase involves devaluation where the narcissist will put you down from the pedestal and make you feel useless and worthless.
This sudden drop of attention and praise could make you overwhelmed and you will not be able to figure out what actually has happened to you. The final phase is when the narcissist discards you. During this phase, they are practically done with you and no longer care for you. To them, you are simply outdated, they have no use for you anymore.
Gaslighting is a common manipulative technique that narcissists use to manipulate you emotionally. Let’s explain how they use gaslighting through an example. Let’s say that a narcissist makes a mistake, they will make you feel as if you are the one who’s responsible for it. Next thing you know, you have that narcissist attacking you as if it’s all your fault and they are the actual victims of the situation. Well, aren’t narcissists bad people?
Following the discard phase, the narcissist will launch start smear campaigns about you. Narcissists use smear campaigns because they want to portray you as bad and mean in front of others. In this way, they can look honest and trustworthy while you will look wrong and immoral to your surroundings. Such smear campaigns can do real damage to a person’s self-esteem. Therefore, you need to be very self-confident in order to protect yourself from an unpleasant situation like this.
What narcissists really enjoy doing to manipulate others is making triangular situations in a relationship. This means that if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, he or she will unnecessarily welcome the opinion of others into the relationship. Narcissists do this because they are unsure of themselves and they need others to validate their own selves and their feelings. Be very cautious with narcissists as you will often find yourself targeted because of this vicious habit of theirs.
5.The false self and the true self
Narcissists bear two sides of their personality: their false and their true self. This means that these people change themselves so rapid and unexpectedly that others will never be able to understand what their actual self is. If you have a narcissist near you, you will surely realize this in a while once their behavior changes as soon as another person comes in the room. Narcissists are very skilled at doing this.
Beware of their hidden tactics!
A crucial thing you need to remember is that all of these habits of narcissists are very concealed. Narcissists won’t use these manipulative techniques so openly and sometimes you won’t realize that you are being played by them. But if you are strong, secure and self-confident, you can surely avoid the mischievous plan of a narcissist.
Remember that narcissists also thrive on other people’s insecurities but if you put on a brave front, these tricksters won’t stand a chance against you. Be brave enough to point out their mean behavior whenever you can and the narcissist will be afraid to pull off these things in front of you. If you are the passive aggressive kind, you can also try to teach them a lesson with love and affection, but beware: that approach is a double-edged sword.