While many people today think that being single is the worst thing that could happen to a person, it is definitely not. Being single can truly be a truly wonderful experience once you have learned how to make the best of it.
Bella DePaulo, a researcher who also works as a Visiting Professor of Psychology at the University of California, has been doing quite a lot of research work when it comes to studies and observations on how being single can push the person to be more active in their own life. DePaulo has been studying this subject for more than twenty years and says that unexpectedly single people are those who are engaging more in their communities and reaching out to people in need.
In her 2015 book “How We Live Now,” Bella DePaulo wrote as follows:
“Compared with people who live with others, single people and solo dwellers are more engaged in the life of the cities and towns where they live. They take more music and art classes, participate in more public events and civic groups, go out to dinner more often, and pursue more informal social activities.
I was impressed by the solo dwellers I interviewed, but not everyone’s personal story is an inspiring one. There are miserable and lonely narcissistic people who live alone just as there are miserable and lonely narcissistic people who live with spouses, kids, and other relatives or friends. Even people who feel totally contented and connected – who happily take advantage of constant-access opportunities of the internet, social media, and mobile devices – acknowledge that they face challenges. A bigger and more diverse social network is the twenty-first-century interpersonal prize; the time and talents it takes to juggle all the threads are some of the costs.”
DePaulo also wrote an article on the site The Conversation in April this year, and every bit of the piece is quite interesting and inspiring. According to DePaulo, being single makes people happy, mentally healthy and stable and boosts their self-confidence. She mentions that a report by Pew Research Center in 2014 estimated that by the time current young adults reach the age of 50, at least one out of four will have never married. This data is not surprising considering the fact that a growing number of people are realizing that being single is actually not a bad thing at all.
“Unfortunately, single life continues to be stigmatized, with single people routinely stereotyped as less secure and more self-centered than married people. They’re said to die sooner, alone and sad.
Yet studies of people who live alone typically find that most are doing just fine; they don’t feel isolated, nor are they sad and lonely.
Reports of the early death of single people have also been greatly exaggerated, as have claimed that marriage transforms miserable, sickly single people into happy and healthy spouses.
In some significant ways, it’s the single people who are doing particularly well.
For example, people with more diversified relationship portfolios tend to be more satisfied with their lives. In contrast, the insularity of couples who move in together or get married can leave them vulnerable to poorer mental health.
Studies have shown that people who stay single develop more confidence in their own opinions and undergo more personal growth and development than people who marry. For example, they value meaningful work more than married people do. They may also have more opportunities to enjoy the solitude that many of them savor.”
I think the conclusion that needs to be made is clear. What is necessary is to revise the definition of family needs. People are starting to push the traditional boundaries of a family in the right direction. Of course, if a person wants to settle down and get married, then they should do it without hesitation. There is no right or wrong way to live, so everyone should do what their heart tells them is true.
The final point is that we all need to stop criticizing each other’s lifestyles and preferences and just do whatever makes us happy.